Never grow up when you are falling in love

Tadi siang janjian makan siang ama Puspa, temen perempuan gw yang juga pacar sahabat gw, yang juga sahabat gw, and they respect me as a gay. Janjian karena dia bilang mau curhat. Dengan senang hati gw mendengarkan.

Mulailah curhat dia tentang adik-nya yang paling kecil mendapat gelar "MBA". It was for the second time her family dapet "anugerah" ini. Sekitar 5 tahun yang lalu, adiknya yang pertama dapet gelar yang sama. Well, dari sudut orang tua-nya, si Puspa ini tinggal satu-satunya yang "bisa diharapkan" akan menikah dengan "normal". Nyokapnya berusaha menenangkan dengan berucap "sabar ya, harus adik kamu duluan lagi yang menikah duluan".... dalam pikiran dia "well mom, I'm okay with that, it's not that I'm concern about now. As long the baby is safe"

Well, sahabat-sahabat gw ini, mereka udah pacaran selama 13 tahun. Sejak kami SMP. Yah sekitar umur kami 14 tahun lah. Dan yup, no "accident" so far. But not about that yang paling ngebuat dia concern. Ada hal lain yang menjadi pikirannya belakangan ini. Yaitu hubungan 13 tahun-nya ini mungkin akan berujung pada perpisahan. Paling enggak kata-kata seperation sempat terlintas dari pacarnya, yang juga sahabatku. Puspa sendiri gak pengen perpisahan terjadi. Tapi pacarnya mempermasalahkan sesuatu yang terjadi 13 tahun yang lalu. Apa masalahnya rada susah menjelaskannya.

Di sisi lain, karena pas kebetulan di pagi harinya I did something stupid, gw curhat juga sama dia. Tadi pagi baru aja gw berusaha membuat suatu ikatan lagi dengan seseorang. Kali ini gw berharap a good adult relationship. No drama queen or what ever. Dan dia meresponnya dengan baik. Dia mengatakan need time to think. I said okay. Gw mengertilah, it's not an easy to answer.

Gak lama selang kita berpisah, dia sms sesuatu yang bikin gw agak cemburu. Tentang seseorang yang lagi deket juga ama dia. Respon gw awalnya cool. Gak termakan api cemburu. Tapi entah mengapa next sms gw malah mengatakan "cannot get you out of my mind" dalam sms gw.

Kata-kata itulah yang membuat keadaan menjadi berubah. Sepertinya sms2 berikutnya mengesankan diriku posesif dan dirinya menganggap gw posesif. Sehingga merubah hariku menjadi sangat suram.

Damn! Dalam 2 hari gw mau liburan ke Bali. Dan baru ketemu dia lagi hari Minggu.

Kembali ke lunch table. Me and Puspa, both of us "laughing" about our late 20s love and still like teenager falling in love....

spiritualism and religiousity

This entry is not intended to offend anyone. Just writings about myself and my spirituality At first I read his blog just because I'm curious about if he gay or not.... heheheh mau tauuuuuu ajah

yup, oneday he told me that he won't get married... but he never tell me the spesific reason.
Well, I wont talk about it here, right now.

What captured me from his blog is lots of spirituality entry that he writes. Although it's very hard to read his blog .. (man, bahasannya berat banget), I found some are interesting. And one of most interesting for me is this quiz that he took from a website.

I took the quiz... and voila!

I'm a 100% to Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants.

The fun is, you get 27 list of the closes beliefs. The other rank are: I'm a 94% Orthodox Quacker (I don't know what is this), 85% Unitarian Universalism (just hear it), 75% Roman Catholic, 69% Reform Judaism, 65% Orthodox Judaism, and only 62% Islam.

So, because I'm not sure about the test, I click on the link (every results has its own link for description).

After read some of the beliefs, based on the explanation about the beliefs, I think I'm spiritually agree with Reform Judaism.... which generally focuses on living a virtuous life, rather than working toward reward after death.

And also agree abut its idea of sin,

No original sin. Most often, Satan is interpreted symbolically to represent selfish desires that are inherent within all. God gave people free will, and people are responsible for their actions.

salvation,

The main emphasis is on living the kind of life that God commands, which will surely be rewarded if there is an afterlife. Most believe God is forgiving of all; there is no hell to which some are condemned. Salvation is achieved through faith and prayer to God, good works, concern for the earth and humanity, and behavior that does no harm to others. The extent to which one follows Jewish Law is an individual decision.

undeserved suffering,

God gave humans free will to feel pleasure and pain, and his purpose in allowing deep suffering of the innocent must be good even if mysterious. It is generally believed that God suffers along with the sufferer. More important than knowing why God allows suffering is to work to help those in need.

and some contemporary issues like abortion.

.....so how about my religion?

mmmm... I think I'll stick with the present one :)

Billy Elliot

Tiba2 serasa menjadi Billy Elliot
I did some pirouette last night. And Juli, said... "yes that's good"

Al hasil gw disuruh nyontohin di depan kelas. Duh... dari sekian banyak perempuan dan beberapa cowok, koq gw yang bisa bagus...

Gak di situ aja, kemarin review posisi2 tangan dalam ballet... Juli bilang "wah bagus posisinya, jangan2 pernah belajar ballet..."
Waaaaaaaaaaakssss... langsung panik mode on "gak pernah, gak pernah!!!" tengsing gw...

why have to be me?

*pirouette = gerakan berputar dengan tumpuan 1 kaki sambil jinjit dalam ballet

nge-ballet yuk!

Hai2... pa kabar semua?

Duh udah lama gak isi neh .... isi blog maksudnya.
Serasa harus nulis di blog neh malam ini. Kasihan para pembaca gak dapat tulisan gw untuk dibaca selama 1 bulan ini (wohahahahahah.... hidup narcis)

Gw lagi seneng2nya nyanyi neh... (dari dulu bukannya iya?)... Heheheh cuman kali ini lebih semangat. Guru gw asik banget... Kita dikasih CD latihan vokal... jadi bisa belajar di mana saja kapan saja (kalo gak malu).... Na na na na na na na na na..... La la la la la la la la la la.....

Lagi belajar Jazz Balet neh.... iya, sebagai basic dance untuk performance bulan Oktober. Kick ball turn piruette... Kick ball turn piruette... Kick ball turn piruette...

Wakakakakak.... udah seperempat abad gini baru belajar ballet... iya neh, setiap abis latihan, besok paginya kaki gw sakit2... lebih sakit daripada abis work out di gym...

Sepatunya lucu deh... tadinya mo beli yang pink... wuhahahah, canda. Enggak, gw dikasih pilihan warna hitam sama yang jual. Gila aja pake pink.... cantik dong?

It's over

the tittle stated clearly. My LDR is over.